My First Thread (WARNING - multi paragraph content - attention span recommended)
Not since the day I cleared the vicinity of my dad's comforting grip, and mastered the 2-wheel balancing of my BMX bike, have I felt like I do today.
Well, I have to admit that I'm exagerating somewhat. Just a few seconds after I broke free of training-wheel hell, I lost control and left a good patch of skin on the sidewalk. But those few seconds were good....
Yes, I feel I've come home. Or found it finally.
9/11 and every lie since dominates my mind these days but I'm still a guy. A guy who needs to talk about boobs, cars and all else that seems distractive in light of the downward spiral that the capitalist, neo-con scum have us following. More on them later...
It's a lonely world and made worse so by my new worldview. Being a "conspiracy wacko" really sheds light on just how fucked we are, yet it also gives me peace of mind in recognising that I'm free. And there's the mindfuck of it all. Just a few years back I hummed along, confident in my wisdom, and believing in "forever".
Then the towers fell and my mind became a highly-absorbent sponge, capable of nothing deeper than thinking "wow!" at every lie and illusion flooding my perception. I was theirs, and I didn't even know it.
Luckily, this sheep wasn't built for slaughter. I was eatin my grass at the neo-con wranch, looking beyond the gates for any signs of Al-Special-Kda. I wasn't bothered with Afghanistan one bit. I wanted revenge, I wanted blood. The psy-op had been very effective on me, but not 100%
Iraq.
I looked up from the grass buffet and gazed upon the shepperd's face in a different light. "baaaaa" I offered...."baaaaaaa" again I voiced.
"baaaa-shit!" - Even a sheep like myself could smell this steaming pile of crap the second it poked out of Bush's ass.
Now all of the rhetoric and lies that passed by me harmlessly post-9/11 were standing out and diluting my state of uselessness. The shepperd I once saw as a victim like myself, was now clearly exhibiting signs of decadence - using 9/11 to run amok without question. Fuck that!
I was insulted beyond anything I'd experienced. The immense feelings of pain and sympathy for America and its people 9/11 had filled me with, were collapsing faster than the WTC towers. I'd been overdosing on hate for muslim extremists but now it was taking me over my kind and peaceful way.
Fuck America, they deserved 9/11, and a I don't give a damn anymore.
WHOA!!! It was gonna eat me up! My last hope was to re-visit the past. My last chance to quell the fury Bush and his gang had intensified inside me, with their case for invading Iraq. Where to look?
9/11...
I went about a mission to re-live 9/11 and feel that pain again. I was confident I'd find video/images deemed too graphic to release upon the fragile world psyche immediately following 9/11. Bodies, carnage, and all else they shelter us from. Things "we don't need to see". I needed to see something powerful to break me from the hate I was wrongly applying to the good people of America. People like me.
For starters I typed in "Pentagon crash - 9/11"
Afterall, all I remembered seeing was the smoking ruins caused by the 757. The same few clips, filmed from afar, nothing close up. Funny thing is, in the days after 9/11 I remember seeing the burning Pentagon and thinking "that's all a plane caused?", but my shock was so intense, I thought nothing of it at the time. I braced myself for close-ups of scattered passenger seats, scattered body parts, and scattered wreckage. CLICK.
First image came up and I thought..."holy shit, they photo-shopped out all of the carnage...man it must have been bad."
Another, and another. What the F is going on here? How the hell is that wall still standing? Where's the plane?
My eye for detail and powers of observation were delivering me something I'd never thought possible or even imagined.
From my earliest days I've always been fascinated by destruction, explosions and the physics of all things war. Be it the muzzle flash of a certain gun, or the fireballs rising from a napalm run, I had observed them all with intense focus and understanding.
The US Gov't had told me a 757 airliner hit the side of the Pentagon going 500+mph. Because of this "fact" I imagined a scene of destruction that was on par with previously witnessed incidents. A 100-ton mass of matter hitting a wall at high speed would tear through the structure and spread un-even destruction and fire in the path of its momentum. There'd be a big hole and lots of wreckage all around. Or so I thought...
No, nothing like I'd imagined, as most of you know.
I didn't have to read the accompanying literature on the various sites I visited. Nothing I've read since then offered by official sources to explain the lack of destruction registers with me as probable. No wonder I'd never seen any pre-collapse photos in the mainstream media! No wonder the 9/11 coverage was 82% New York's suffering!
To top it all off, they released the infamous 5-frame explosion clip "showing the 757 hitting the wall". I first saw it and thought..."there's no way it would have exploded like that!!"...thank god for my years of war watching! I liken an airliner packed with fuel to be behave much like a napalm canister does when it hits a solid mass and explodes. Their destructive paths spread out in the direction of their momentum. Not this airliner! It went from 500mph in flight and upon hitting the Pentagon, exploded in a fireball that rose straight into the air above. What the F diverted all that momentum in the space of a few miliseconds? And what other than a nuclear blast can "vapourise" 100 tons of matter in the blink of an eye?
The answer is obvious. Hollywood. Or the lies of the Bush administration.
So now I sit. Believing in something only delusional, crazy, wacko, conspiracy-freaks would ever imagine. I am free on the inside, but now the world around me looks even uglier than I'd previously thought. I knew I was never one of the "masses" but now I'm the crazy one?
I'm amazed at what the post-9/11 world has taught me about who I am and how few of my fellow man are on my wave-length. I hate the destiny talk most of the time, but I feel as if my path to here and now is the right path. Maybe if I had a loving wife, a family, or any sense of belonging, maybe 9/11 and the true evil forces running the show would have scared me into denial and back to my normalcy. Maybe it would be easier to believe "that's impossible" or "they wouldn't do that"? I dunno. In the middle ages minds like ours were locked up and silenced in ways no "democratic" society of today would dare. With so much power and influence, the scum running the show today wouldn't dare waste a bullet on us. They've got Fox News, CNN, and other "credible" media reporting their truths. They've got hordes of "experts" singing their tune. I can't count the number of times my writings have been deemed un-worthy because I'm no expert, and am incapable of offering expert opinion because only experts are allowed to do so. BAH!
In a way, I'm revolted to be part of this evil force. I drive a car, I consume the goods of companies influencing the facist US Gov't and I do little more than voice my opinions in the comfort of internet forums. I'm burdened with the shame of having the gift of critical, free thought, and not being able to do a damn thing with it.
If you got this far I commend you. In today's on-demand world, the sight of multiple paragraphs and high word-count sends many a man running from a thread. I'm one of these old-fashioned, articulate fools who can't get the point across without getting some other points across first. Haha!
To better days my friends,
Soze
