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View Full Version : What Would Be Your Excuse To Get Out Of A Draft?



Gold9472
08-15-2005, 10:44 PM
There's a lot of stories about Jimi Hendrix pretending to be gay in order to get out of serving...

What would you do to get out of a draft? If anything?

911=inside job
08-16-2005, 12:04 AM
laugh at them.... shoot some speed and suck a dick....

911=inside job
08-16-2005, 12:07 AM
my uncle faked high blood pressure to stay out... something about lots of coffee and breathing weird...

ThotPolice
08-16-2005, 12:22 AM
I’d show up dressed in drag, after having spent a week on acid crack and heroin. While being inspected I would urinate and giggle like a schoolgirl while rubbing my crotch and making flirty eyes with the commanding officer. To seal the deal maybe I would defecate and draw a stars and stripes on the floor with my poo then roll around in it while doing my best impression of Marilyn Monroe’s happy birthday Mr. President.



Think it could work?

somebigguy
08-16-2005, 07:26 AM
But Gold would "pretend" to be gay, right Gold?

dz
08-16-2005, 10:02 AM
But Gold would "pretend" to be gay, right Gold?

nice.

im guessing just sitting on the floor and not going is the best way to avoid a draft? maybe chain yourself to a fence or something?

dz
08-16-2005, 10:02 AM
I’d show up dressed in drag, after having spent a week on acid crack and heroin. While being inspected I would urinate and giggle like a schoolgirl while rubbing my crotch and making flirty eyes with the commanding officer. To seal the deal maybe I would defecate and draw a stars and stripes on the floor with my poo then roll around in it while doing my best impression of Marilyn Monroe’s happy birthday Mr. President.



Think it could work?

yes, and i think that was way too mcuh information ;)

rachel
08-16-2005, 10:56 AM
Can you say baby boom? I guess you guys couldn't get pregnant, but the women here are safe. ;)

911=inside job
08-16-2005, 11:55 AM
i would rather go to iraq then have a kid... lol...

911=inside job
08-16-2005, 11:56 AM
im j/k but that is sure no reason to have a kid...

rachel
08-16-2005, 01:11 PM
Who says I'd have the kid? Nah, I'm kidding.

Honestly, if I thought I was going to be drafted I'd just enlist. At least I could have some influence on where I ended up.

princesskittypoo
08-16-2005, 02:08 PM
i'd just show them my paperwork (certifiably insane)

PhilosophyGenius
09-05-2006, 06:37 PM
I'd be a flaming homo and start checking everyone out.

Tonya
09-05-2006, 06:57 PM
uhh, I guess do what some other service men are doing now and getting booted out for, speak against the president and talk publically about 9/11!

Partridge
09-06-2006, 09:14 AM
"Hello. I am an Irish Islamic Communist and I am VERY VERY interested in joing your Armed Forces. My good friend Fidel O'Jihad says I could learn lots of cool stuff, like how to blow shit up using rudimenatry devices."

PhilosophyGenius
09-07-2006, 06:28 PM
"Hello. I am an Irish Islamic Communist and I am VERY VERY interested in joing your Armed Forces. My good friend Fidel O'Jihad says I could learn lots of cool stuff, like how to blow shit up using rudimenatry devices."

I'd legally change my name to Mohammed al-Kaboom al-Talabani. Complete with a turbin and beard.

They can go ahead and try to draft me if they want but they'll just be inviting a shit storm in the press after I tip them off.

Partridge
09-07-2006, 06:30 PM
al-Kaboom

Brilliant!

AuGmENTor
09-07-2006, 07:31 PM
I'm too old. I did my time. Thank God I didn't know about any of this crap back in 91 or I woulda been in some serious trouble. I don't take being lied to well.

casseia
09-08-2006, 01:49 AM
You know what my uncle did back during Viet Nam when he got drafted? He just didn't go. Just didn't show up. Didn't go to Canada, just moved from time to time within his home city. Nothing ever happened. Ever.

You can bet your sweet patootie that if there's another draft, there's going to be so much of this non-compliance that few people will be punished.

If my daughter (7) gets drafted she won't have to worry about it. There's no way in HELL she's going to war and I'll make damned sure of it.

On a related note, I know at least one person who's trying to get on the selective service board (is that what they call it?) in his area, for the express purpose of aiding conscientious objectors.

Eckolaker
09-08-2006, 11:57 AM
Pretty sure if I got drafted I wouldn't worry to much.

I know I would test radioactive positive for Marijuana consumption, and would promply be dismissed from further duty.

amman254
09-09-2006, 01:33 PM
Pretty sure if I got drafted I wouldn't worry to much.

I know I would test radioactive positive for Marijuana consumption, and would promply be dismissed from further duty.

if all they found in my direction was marijuana, then their machines were probably be broke....

but the easiest is just being 52...i think that would get me out of the whole thing....:whistling