What Would Be Your Excuse To Get Out Of A Draft?

Gold9472

Gold9472

Tired...
Staff member
There's a lot of stories about Jimi Hendrix pretending to be gay in order to get out of serving...

What would you do to get out of a draft? If anything?
 
my uncle faked high blood pressure to stay out... something about lots of coffee and breathing weird...
 
I’d show up dressed in drag, after having spent a week on acid crack and heroin. While being inspected I would urinate and giggle like a schoolgirl while rubbing my crotch and making flirty eyes with the commanding officer. To seal the deal maybe I would defecate and draw a stars and stripes on the floor with my poo then roll around in it while doing my best impression of Marilyn Monroe’s happy birthday Mr. President.



Think it could work?
 
somebigguy said:
But Gold would "pretend" to be gay, right Gold?
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nice.

im guessing just sitting on the floor and not going is the best way to avoid a draft? maybe chain yourself to a fence or something?
 
ThotPolice said:
I’d show up dressed in drag, after having spent a week on acid crack and heroin. While being inspected I would urinate and giggle like a schoolgirl while rubbing my crotch and making flirty eyes with the commanding officer. To seal the deal maybe I would defecate and draw a stars and stripes on the floor with my poo then roll around in it while doing my best impression of Marilyn Monroe’s happy birthday Mr. President.



Think it could work?
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yes, and i think that was way too mcuh information ;)
 
Can you say baby boom? I guess you guys couldn't get pregnant, but the women here are safe. ;)
 
Who says I'd have the kid? Nah, I'm kidding.

Honestly, if I thought I was going to be drafted I'd just enlist. At least I could have some influence on where I ended up.
 
I'd be a flaming homo and start checking everyone out.
 
uhh, I guess do what some other service men are doing now and getting booted out for, speak against the president and talk publically about 9/11!
 
"Hello. I am an Irish Islamic Communist and I am VERY VERY interested in joing your Armed Forces. My good friend Fidel O'Jihad says I could learn lots of cool stuff, like how to blow shit up using rudimenatry devices."
 
Partridge said:
"Hello. I am an Irish Islamic Communist and I am VERY VERY interested in joing your Armed Forces. My good friend Fidel O'Jihad says I could learn lots of cool stuff, like how to blow shit up using rudimenatry devices."
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I'd legally change my name to Mohammed al-Kaboom al-Talabani. Complete with a turbin and beard.

They can go ahead and try to draft me if they want but they'll just be inviting a shit storm in the press after I tip them off.
 
I'm too old. I did my time. Thank God I didn't know about any of this crap back in 91 or I woulda been in some serious trouble. I don't take being lied to well.
 
You know what my uncle did back during Viet Nam when he got drafted? He just didn't go. Just didn't show up. Didn't go to Canada, just moved from time to time within his home city. Nothing ever happened. Ever.

You can bet your sweet patootie that if there's another draft, there's going to be so much of this non-compliance that few people will be punished.

If my daughter (7) gets drafted she won't have to worry about it. There's no way in HELL she's going to war and I'll make damned sure of it.

On a related note, I know at least one person who's trying to get on the selective service board (is that what they call it?) in his area, for the express purpose of aiding conscientious objectors.
 
Pretty sure if I got drafted I wouldn't worry to much.

I know I would test radioactive positive for Marijuana consumption, and would promply be dismissed from further duty.
 
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